Episode #105: SMILE!

Why are so many customer-facing staff unfriendly — and what does that signal to customers?

If you walk into hotels, airports, restaurants, or taxis in many major U.S. cities, you often meet grumpy, unsmiling, seemingly disinterested staff. The first words you hear may be delivered in a flat or even angry tone: the hotel name barked down the phone, a silent nod at check-in, or a cold “next” at the counter. There is no warmth, no acknowledgment, and certainly no sense that you, the customer, matter.

These are not isolated incidents tied to a single location. They are patterns observed across cities like Chicago, New York, and Washington, D.C. The result is a consistent message to the customer: you are a transaction, not a person.

Mini-summary: Unfriendly frontline behavior is not “just how it is.” It is a strong negative signal that tells customers they are unimportant and that the organization is not paying attention.

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What is Dale Carnegie’s Human Relations Principle #5 — and why is it still powerful?

Dale Carnegie’s Human Relations Principle Number Five is simple: “Smile.”
At first glance, it may sound simplistic. Yet this principle, introduced in How to Win Friends and Influence People in 1936, remains one of the most powerful and underutilized tools in modern business.

A genuine smile at the first point of contact does more than look pleasant:

• It communicates respect and recognition.

• It triggers a positive emotional response in the customer.

• It sets the tone for the entire interaction and the relationship with your brand.

In customer-facing roles, smiling is not a “nice to have.” It is a strategic behavior that shapes perception, trust, and loyalty.

Mini-summary: Principle #5, “Smile,” is not outdated etiquette; it is a timeless business tool that shapes how customers feel about your brand from the very first second.

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How does poor leadership create bad service and “I don’t care” attitudes?

Excuses like “that’s just New York,” “that’s how America is,” or “they’re only on minimum wage” miss the real point. Consistently poor service is not a cultural inevitability; it is a leadership failure.

When staff regularly:

• Answer the phone with an abrupt or angry tone,

• Ignore customers’ instructions with silence,

• Go through the motions while showing obvious disinterest,

they are not just having a bad day. They are operating inside a culture where:

• Expectations for service excellence are not clear,

• Training on how to treat customers is minimal or nonexistent,

• Leaders are not actively coaching, observing, or correcting behavior.

Frontline staff are the living, breathing expression of leadership priorities. When the behavior is consistently poor, it means leadership has allowed that standard to become the norm.

Mini-summary: Service failures are almost never just “staff problems.” They are leadership problems. Leaders who do not define, model, and train the right behavior will see their brand eroded at every point of contact.

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What is the cost of not smiling — and what business value does a genuine smile create?

The financial cost of a smile is zero. The cost of not smiling is massive:

• Lost up-sell and cross-sell opportunities.

• Reduced repeat business and customer loyalty.

• Weak word-of-mouth and poor online reviews.

• Long-term brand damage that marketing spend cannot fix.

A genuine smile at the first interaction:

• Lowers customer defensiveness and tension.

• Creates a more open and cooperative environment.

• Makes customers more receptive to recommendations, add-ons, and premium options.

In other words, smiling is not merely “being nice.” It is a revenue enabler. When staff are trained and led to smile sincerely, they do not just process transactions; they create experiences that customers remember and talk about.

Mini-summary: A genuine smile is a zero-cost behavior that can unlock higher revenue, stronger loyalty, and a more resilient brand. Not smiling is a silent but very expensive business mistake.

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Why are so many staff focused on process instead of customer experience?

In many organizations, frontline employees are trained almost exclusively on process:

• Check in the passenger.

• Issue the boarding pass.

• Hand over the hotdog.

• Complete the transaction.

• Move on to the next person.

What they are not trained on is experience:

• How the customer feels during and after the interaction.

• What impression the brand leaves in that brief encounter.

• How their own attitude influences trust, satisfaction, and loyalty.

When staff focus only on process, they may be efficient but emotionally absent. The result is a robotic, disconnected customer journey where everything “works” on paper, but nothing feels good in reality.

Mini-summary: Overemphasis on process and underinvestment in human skills leads to efficient but emotionally empty customer experiences. The experience, not the process, is what customers remember.

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How can a simple audit reveal the real state of your customer experience?

Many executives assume their customer experience is “fine” because they see reports, dashboards, and compliance scores. Yet the quickest way to discover the truth is very simple: experience your own brand like a customer.

Practical audit ideas:

• Call your own main number at different times of day, especially at lunchtime, when someone “covering the phone” may be your unexpected brand ambassador.

• Listen objectively:
  – Do they say the company name clearly?
  – Do they give their own name?
  – Can you hear a smile in their voice?

• Observe live customer interactions at reception desks, counters, and help lines. Are staff smiling, acknowledging, and engaging — or just processing?

You will quickly identify where your brand is being enhanced and where it is being damaged, often in places that never show up in a standard report.

Mini-summary: Simple, real-world audits — phone calls, observations, and mystery shopping — reveal the true customer experience far more accurately than internal reporting alone.

You can influence behavior with training, but you must be realistic about fit.

Two key actions:

1. Hire for attitude, then train for skill
   Select customer-facing staff who naturally smile and enjoy interacting with people. It is far easier to train skills than to force a fundamentally disengaged person to behave warmly.

2. Help existing staff understand the “why” behind smiling
   For those already in place:

   • Explain that they represent the brand at every touchpoint.

   • Show how a smile is “shorthand” for what your organization stands for.

   • Connect their individual role to the bigger picture: revenue, reputation, and long-term success.

   • Reinforce that everyone is in sales — every interaction either sells or damages the organization.

While not everyone will become a natural “people person,” many can significantly improve when they understand the purpose, receive coaching, and see leaders modeling the behavior themselves.

Mini-summary: You can and should train people to smile and engage, but you also need to recruit for attitude. The right people in the right roles, supported by clear training and leadership, create a consistently positive first impression.

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How does Japan’s “polite but robotic” service compare — and what is the leadership opportunity?

In Japan, service is often polite and highly structured, but can sometimes feel scripted or robotic. Even so, polite and predictable service still outperforms genuine disinterest. Customers are more forgiving of a slightly formal or scripted interaction than of clear indifference or hostility.

For leaders, this contrast highlights a major opportunity:

• Do not settle for either robotic politeness or genuine disinterest.

• Aim for genuine, human, and professional warmth — combining reliability with real connection.

• Treat a smile as a baseline standard, not a luxury.

In competitive markets, where many companies are doing a “miserable job” on human interaction, even a modest improvement in authentic smiles and attitudes can create a powerful competitive edge.

Mini-summary: Robotic politeness is better than open disinterest — but neither should be the standard. Leaders who insist on genuine, consistent smiles at every first point of contact can differentiate their brand quickly and decisively.

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What are the immediate action steps leaders should take?

To translate Principle #5, “Smile,” into concrete business practice, leaders can take these steps:

1. Call your own organization regularly.
   Experience how clients are handled at different times of day. Treat every call as a live test of your brand.

2. Clarify the brand message to staff.
   Make sure leaders explain that:

   • Every staff member represents the brand.

   • How they interact with clients directly shapes how the brand is perceived.

3. Select naturally smiling, people-oriented staff for customer-facing roles.
   Put the right people on the frontline bus — in the right seats — where their natural warmth becomes a business asset.

4. Practice Principle #5 personally.
   As leaders, model the behavior you expect. Smile in your own interactions — with customers, staff, and partners. Culture follows example, not slogans.

Mini-summary: Leaders should continuously test their own customer experience, clarify expectations, choose the right frontline people, and personally live Principle #5, “Smile,” every day.

• A genuine smile is a strategic business tool, not a superficial gesture. It shapes first impressions, trust, and long-term loyalty.

• Poor frontline behavior is a leadership problem, not a cultural inevitability. Training, coaching, and role modeling are essential.

• Process without human connection destroys brand value. Customers remember how they felt, not how efficiently a form was processed.

• Simple audits — calls, observations, and mystery shopping — reveal the truth about your customer experience and where your brand is at risk

Founded in the U.S. in 1912, Dale Carnegie Training has supported individuals and companies worldwide for over a century in leadership, sales, presentation, executive coaching, and DEI. Our Tokyo office, established in 1963, has been empowering both Japanese and multinational corporate clients ever since.