Episode #106: Romancing Japan

Why should executives care about the “romance crisis” among young professionals?

Executives across Japan and multinational companies are facing a hidden risk to their future talent pipeline: young adults are increasingly opting out of romance and long-term relationships. Fewer couples means fewer children, which ultimately leads to a shrinking workforce, lower consumer demand, and rising pressure on already stretched teams.

Recent government statistics show that nearly 40% of single people in their 20s and 30s say they do not want a romantic partner. Almost half of them say relationships are simply “too much trouble.” This is the same age group companies rely on for fresh energy, leadership potential, innovation, and future management.

When young professionals are disengaged not only from work but also from human connection, it signals a broader social and business challenge: isolation, low motivation, and a declining sense of purpose. For leaders, HR, and talent development professionals, this is not just a “social issue” — it is directly tied to engagement, retention, and the long-term sustainability of their organizations.

Mini-summary:
The decline in romance and relationships among young adults is not only a demographic issue; it reflects growing isolation that threatens the future talent pool and overall business sustainability.

What are the main causes behind this decline in romance and connection?

Several structural and cultural factors are combining to reduce the motivation and opportunity for young people to form real relationships:

• Long working hours and limited leisure time
  Many younger employees work long hours, often in environments where staying late is still the norm. By the time they leave the office or log off, they have little energy left to meet new people or nurture relationships.

• Career interruption and family pressure for women
  A high percentage of women still step out of the workforce when they have children and often do not return. This creates a perceived trade-off between career and family, making the idea of marriage and children feel risky or unattractive.

• Increase in part-time and low-income work for men
  The growth in non-regular employment has created a group of “working poor” among younger men who feel they cannot meet financial expectations. Many women still say they want a partner earning above a certain income level, which further discourages men who feel they cannot qualify.

• Screen time replacing face time
  Digital entertainment, social media, games, and online content absorb hours of daily attention. Adult content and virtual idols offer low-risk, one-way “connection,” which can feel easier than dealing with the complexity and vulnerability of real relationships.

• Decline of traditional matchmaking systems
  Traditional approaches to introducing couples have weakened, and modern apps and services are competing with a general lack of interest. If the underlying desire for connection is low, tools alone cannot solve the problem.

Mini-summary:
Long hours, financial pressure, career risk, and digital distractions combine to reduce both the desire and opportunity for young adults to build real relationships.

How does this lack of romance show up in business settings?

The same forces that limit romantic relationships also appear in everyday business behavior:

• Difficulty initiating conversations
  At networking events, conferences, or cross-functional meetings, many professionals hesitate to approach people they do not know. They tend to stay with colleagues or existing contacts rather than expanding their network.

• High levels of shyness and modesty
  Shyness is not unique to one culture, but in many workplaces it becomes a barrier to forming new relationships, learning from others, and building alliances.

• Reliance on devices instead of dialogue
  People often turn to their phones in any moment of discomfort — in elevators, at events, between sessions in a seminar. This blocks spontaneous conversation and reinforces isolation.

• Underdeveloped interpersonal confidence
  Many participants in communication training openly admit:

  • “I don’t know what to say to someone I meet for the first time.”

  • “I don’t know how to keep a conversation going after ‘hello’.”

  • “I feel awkward approaching people at events.”

These patterns limit not only personal happiness and connection, but also professional opportunities in leadership, sales, collaboration, and cross-functional influence.

Mini-summary:
The same shyness and isolation that reduce romantic relationships also weaken networking, collaboration, and influence in the workplace.

Dale Carnegie Training has spent over 100 years helping people around the world build stronger relationships, communicate with confidence, and lead more effectively. For more than 60 years in Tokyo, we have seen that genuine human connection is a learnable skill — not a personality trait reserved for extroverts.

Several core Dale Carnegie Principles are especially powerful in this context:

1. How can I start a conversation when I don’t know what to say?

Principle: “Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.”
One of the easiest ways to start a conversation is to ask simple, open-ended questions about the other person:

• “What brought you here today?”

• “How long have you been with your company?”

• “What kind of work do you do?”

• “Is this your first time at this event?”

Most people are comfortable talking about themselves when they feel the other person is genuinely interested. You do not need to be clever or charismatic — you just need to be curious.

Mini-summary:
Conversation becomes easier when we focus on asking questions and listening, rather than trying to impress others.

2. How do I make sure my interest in others feels real, not fake?

Principle: “Become genuinely interested in other people.”
The keyword is genuinely. People can sense when we are only pretending to care. Before entering a conversation, reset your mindset:

• Decide that you are there to learn something new from each person.

• Look for what you can admire or respect about them.

• Assume they have unique experiences and insights you have never heard.

When you shift your focus from “How am I doing?” to “What can I learn about this person?”, your questions and body language become more authentic and engaging.

Mini-summary:
Real connection starts with a sincere mindset: genuinely wanting to understand the other person rather than just getting through small talk.

3. How can I keep a conversation going after the first question?

Principle: “Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.”
Once you discover a topic that matters to the other person — their role, a project, a hobby, a place they love — stay with it:

• Ask follow-up questions:
  “What do you enjoy most about that?”
  “How did you get into that field?”
  “What has been the biggest challenge so far?”

• Reflect back what you heard:
  “So it sounds like your team is expanding globally now.”
  “It seems like you really enjoy mentoring younger colleagues.”

By focusing on their interests, you make the conversation more energizing for them and easier for you.

Mini-summary:
Conversations flow naturally when you stay on topics the other person cares about and keep asking curious, follow-up questions.

4. Is it really possible for introverts to become more outgoing in public situations?

Yes. Many highly effective leaders, sales professionals, and presenters are introverts who have learned how to behave in an extroverted way when the situation requires it. That does not mean changing who they are; it means building skills and habits they can switch on when needed.

Through structured training in communication, presentation, leadership, and relationship-building, individuals can:

• Practice initiating conversations in a safe environment.

• Receive constructive feedback and encouragement.

• Experiment with new behaviors and see positive results.

• Build repeatable habits that feel natural over time.

Dale Carnegie Training has helped countless professionals transform from painfully shy to confidently engaging — not by changing their personality, but by expanding their skill set.

Mini-summary:
Introverts can learn practical tools to act more confidently in public, making connection and collaboration far more achievable.

No single training program can solve a national demographic issue. However, better communication and relationship skills can:

• Reduce isolation among young professionals, giving them more confidence to connect with others in both social and business settings.

• Strengthen engagement at work, as people build real relationships with colleagues, managers, and clients.

• Improve leadership pipelines, as future leaders learn to influence, inspire, and build trust.

• Support long-term life satisfaction, which can indirectly affect decisions about partnership, marriage, and family.

For companies, investing in leadership training, sales training, presentation training, executive coaching, and DEI training is not only about performance. It is also about cultivating a culture where people feel seen, heard, and connected — at work and beyond.

Mini-summary:
Improved communication skills cannot fix demographics alone, but they can reduce isolation, strengthen engagement, and support a healthier long-term talent pipeline.

What simple action steps can individuals and leaders take now?

For individuals:

• Talk to new people regularly. At events, on training programs, or inside the office, challenge yourself to start at least one conversation with someone new.

• Practice being a better listener. Ask more questions and give people time to fully answer.

• Show genuine curiosity. Look for something interesting in each person you meet.

• Focus on the other person’s interests. Keep the spotlight on what matters to them.

• Limit device distraction in social situations. Put the phone away to create space for real interaction.

For leaders and organizations:

• Provide communication and relationship-building training for young professionals.

• Include modules on networking, conversation skills, and confidence-building in leadership development.

• Encourage environments — both in-office and hybrid — where people have safe, structured ways to meet and connect.

• Model the behavior at the top: senior leaders who listen, ask questions, and show genuine interest set the tone for everyone else.

Mini-summary:
Small, consistent actions — at both the individual and organizational level — can gradually rebuild a culture of connection and trust.

• The decline in romance and relationships among young adults is deeply connected to isolation, low interaction, and shrinking future talent pools.

• Long working hours, financial pressure, and device addiction are reducing both the desire and opportunity for real human connection.

• Communication and conversation skills are trainable, even for introverts and shy individuals.

• Investing in relationship-focused training (leadership, sales, presentation, executive coaching, and DEI) strengthens engagement, collaboration, and long-term organizational resilience.

Founded in the U.S. in 1912, Dale Carnegie Training has supported individuals and companies worldwide for over a century in leadership, sales, presentation, executive coaching, and DEI. Our Tokyo office, established in 1963, has been empowering both domestic and multinational corporate clients ever since.