Episode #135: Why Everyone Hates Salespeople

Why do capable salespeople still face distrust from buyers?

Most buyers walk into a sales conversation carrying years of baggage. Even if they meet you only once, they’ve already met dozens of pushy, dishonest, or “bait-and-switch” salespeople. That history creates a strong negative perception of sales professionals before you even say hello.

The reality is simple: you may be ethical and helpful, but others who came before you have “muddied the waters.” So you start below the trust line and must earn your way up—showing that your role is to help the buyer succeed, not to pressure them into a decision.

Mini-summary: Buyers often distrust salespeople by default, so trust must be rebuilt intentionally from the first minute.

Despite stereotypes, surveys consistently show buyers still need salespeople for advice and accurate information. That makes sense: sellers should have deep expertise about product or service fit, and buyers want clarity before committing.

Think about your own behavior as a consumer. When you shop, you ask the clerk questions and quickly sense whether the person genuinely understands what they’re talking about. Business buyers do the same—only the stakes are higher.

Mini-summary: Buyers don’t reject salespeople—they reject being “sold.” They still want expert guidance.

When a buyer feels they’re being sold, a mental alarm goes off. Everyone loves to buy, but nobody wants to be sold. This is where listening becomes the real differentiator.

Salespeople often listen with a filter: searching for interest, scanning for resistance, racing ahead to the next “brilliant” point. That leads to interrupting, talking over the buyer, or tuning out while preparing your pitch.

Instead, let the buyer be fully heard. Check your understanding before introducing any solution. That shift alone lowers resistance and lifts credibility.

Mini-summary: Buyers resist pressure, not value. Deep listening reduces defensiveness and opens trust.

How can you build trust before talking about your product?

Many organizations train salespeople heavily on product knowledge—and that matters. But when training stops there, sales conversations become self-focused: “Let me tell you about us and what we do.”

Buyers first need proof that you understand them. A stronger opening sounds like:

• “My role today is to help you grow your business. To do that, I need to understand your situation clearly. If it makes sense, I’ll show where we might fit.”

That communicates service, curiosity, and partnership—especially important in Japanese corporate environments (日本企業 Nihon kigyō — Japanese companies) and multinational settings (外資系企業 Gaishikei kigyō — foreign-owned companies).

Mini-summary: Trust grows when the buyer feels understood first; solutions come second.

Scripted pitches often sound lifeless. Whether it’s a phone script you recognize instantly or a “pitch of a thousand deliveries,” repetition drains authenticity.

If you hear too much of your own voice, stop. Ask a relevant question and stay quiet. The buyer’s answers contain the most valuable information you don’t already know.

In consultative selling (営業研修 Eigyō kenshū — sales training), great questions create great outcomes.

Mini-summary: Scripts create distance. Questions create discovery—and discovery creates sales.

How should you adjust your energy and style to different buyers?

Too much energy—flailing arms, loud delivery, exaggerated body language—can signal a salesperson out of control. “Perky” can help, but “overly perky” pushes buyers away.

One key skill is calibration. Ask yourself:

• Is this buyer conservative and put off by excess enthusiasm?

• Are they shy or reserved and overwhelmed by strong delivery?

The failing salesperson uses only one style for everyone. Effective professionals adapt their communication to the buyer’s preferences—especially in executive conversations (エグゼクティブ・コーチング Ejikyutibu kōchingu — executive coaching contexts).

Mini-summary: Adaptability beats intensity. Match your style to the buyer to keep trust alive.

• Buyers distrust salespeople by default, so trust-building must start immediately.

• People want to buy, not be sold—listening and curiosity lower resistance.

• Lead with understanding the customer before explaining your solution.

• Drop rigid scripts and adapt your communication style to the buyer.

Founded in the U.S. in 1912, Dale Carnegie Training has supported individuals and companies worldwide for over a century in leadership, sales, presentation, executive coaching, and DEI. Our Tokyo office, established in 1963, has been empowering both Japanese and multinational corporate clients ever since.