Episode #164: Leaders: Get Off the Chems

Why do smart leaders still lose control in stressful moments?

Our ancient survival instincts still govern our reactions today. Instead of fleeing from saber-tooth tigers, we lash out when colleagues challenge us or deny us what we want. The same “fight or flight” chemical cocktail floods our bodies, triggering anger, impulsive speech, and regretful words.
What once kept us alive can now destroy trust, reputation, and relationships in the workplace.

Mini-summary: The biological wiring that once protected us now works against us in leadership settings.

Even experienced executives can fall into what we call the six-step devastation cycle:

1. Event — something happens (a mistake, bad news, or crisis).

2. Interpretation — we assign meaning or blame.

3. Emotional Response — frustration or anger arises.

4. Physical Response — adrenaline and tension build.

5. Attitude Response — we justify our reaction.

6. Effect — relationships and credibility suffer.

Leaders often react in nanoseconds but regret it for hours—or days. Once the chemicals take over, we stop leading and start reacting.

Mini-summary: Recognizing the six-step cycle helps leaders interrupt emotional escalation before damage occurs.

Absolutely. A leader who cannot manage emotions loses trust fast. Even executives with perfect résumés can sabotage themselves with outbursts of rage or sarcasm.
In one corporate example, a brilliant CEO—respected on paper—would erupt in anger during meetings. Team members learned to avoid his direct line of sight just to stay safe. The result? Fear, silence, and lost innovation.

Mini-summary: Emotional volatility undermines authority and erodes team performance.

To keep control when anger strikes, leaders can follow five practical steps:

1. Recognize the chemistry. Know when your body’s chemical reaction has started. Awareness gives you the power to pause.

2. Suspend judgment. Don’t explode before you have all the facts. Ask questions. More data cools emotion.

3. Avoid personal attacks. Remember: everyone carries unseen burdens. Compassion disarms conflict.

4. Use a “cushion” phrase. Say something neutral like “That’s an important issue.” It buys time to think before reacting.

5. Walk away. If you feel verbal “lava” rising, excuse yourself. Physical distance restores perspective.

Mini-summary: By building self-awareness, curiosity, and restraint, leaders prevent small sparks from becoming infernos.

• Emotional intelligence is a leadership survival skill, not a luxury.

• Understanding your biological triggers helps you stay in control.

• Calm responses build trust, respect, and long-term influence.

• Great leaders master chemistry before it masters them.

Founded in the United States in 1912, Dale Carnegie Training has been helping leaders around the world master the human side of performance for more than 100 years.
Our Tokyo office, established in 1963, continues to empower both Japanese and global companies through programs in leadership, sales, presentation, and executive coaching.
With over six decades of experience in Japan, we help executives build greater control, communication, and confidence under pressure.