Episode #189: Hey Donald Trump, Try "Winning Friends and Influencing People" Instead

Why Do Powerful Leaders Still Struggle with Diplomacy?

Even world leaders sometimes forget a timeless truth of influence: you can’t win cooperation through criticism. When Donald Trump’s aggressive phone exchange with Australia’s Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull became public, many asked whether confrontation is the only way to lead.
This incident reveals a universal leadership question for executives everywhere — how can we handle conflict without losing trust or respect?

The disagreement centered on an immigration agreement between the U.S. and Australia. Instead of seeking collaboration, Trump openly criticized Turnbull.
According to Dale Carnegie’s Human Relations Principles, that single choice destroyed goodwill and reduced the potential for cooperation.

Principle #1: “Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.”
Criticism creates resistance, not results. Once trust is broken, even compliance becomes hollow — and loyalty disappears.

Mini-summary: Aggressive communication wins battles, but loses alliances — in politics and business alike.

Carnegie’s timeless insight: “You get more cooperation with honey than vinegar.”
Instead of confrontation, Trump could have applied three of Carnegie’s principles:

1. #30 – Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest.

2. #25 – Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

3. #28 – Give the person a fine reputation to live up to.

For example, he might have said:

“Malcolm, you’re a smart, self-made leader. Help me solve this immigration dilemma in a way that works for both of us.”

By appealing to Turnbull’s intelligence and pride, he could have inspired voluntary cooperation — not resistance.

Mini-summary: Recognition and inclusion turn potential opponents into partners.

In any organization, public criticism kills morale.
Employees who feel attacked will justify themselves, gossip about unfair treatment, and disengage from their work. Innovation and loyalty collapse.
This dynamic mirrors the Turnbull incident — authority may command obedience, but never enthusiasm.

Mini-summary: Respect sustains engagement; criticism drains it.

Managers can avoid “Trump-style” leadership pitfalls by applying Carnegie’s proven methods:

• Replace orders with questions to encourage ownership.

• Praise employees before offering correction.

• Give team members a strong reputation to uphold.

• Focus on mutual benefit, not personal victory.

Mini-summary: Constructive influence builds trust and long-term performance.

• Criticism destroys trust; collaboration builds it.

• Carnegie’s Human Relations Principles offer practical tools for diplomacy in leadership.

• Emotional intelligence, not dominance, drives sustainable influence.

• Tokyo and global executives alike can learn from this case to strengthen team engagement and loyalty.

Founded in the United States in 1912, Dale Carnegie Training has been helping individuals and organizations around the world for more than a century to strengthen their skills in leadership, sales, presentations, executive coaching, and DEI (diversity, equity, and inclusion).
Our Tokyo office, established in 1963, continues to provide trusted programs for both Japanese and global companies, offering leadership training, sales training, presentation training, and executive coaching — all designed to develop leaders who inspire cooperation rather than conflict.