Episode #202: Virtual Selling - We Need A New Questioning Approach (Part One)

Why do sales conversations get worse online — even with experienced salespeople?

Salespeople often carry the same bad habits from face-to-face meetings into virtual calls. If your old approach was to pitch hard and hope something sticks, you’ll likely do the same on screen — and it still won’t work.

In virtual selling, the professionals who understand that questioning drives trust and insight now have a bigger advantage. The environment changed, so the sales method must change too.

Mini-summary: Online sales amplifies old pitching habits, but rewards skilled questioning more than ever.

A key problem online isn’t asking the question — it’s getting (and correctly hearing) the answer. In a meeting room, audio is clear. Online platforms often have choppy sound, lag, or distortion.

This becomes even harder in cross-cultural selling, especially when working in foreign languages. If a client speaks English or you speak Japanese, there’s an extra layer of risk: misunderstanding the real meaning behind the words.
Mini-summary: Poor audio and language gaps make accurate listening the biggest obstacle to effective questioning online.

How do you stay fully present when the virtual world encourages multitasking?

Virtual meetings are paradise for multitaskers — but a trap for sellers. Don’t split your attention. Presence is a competitive skill.

To stay focused:

• Watch the buyer closely.

• Wear a headset to reduce audio loss.

• Remove distractions (tabs, phone, notifications).

• Sit forward and lean in toward the screen.

Your body communicates attention, and attention builds credibility.
Mini-summary: Visual focus and physical engagement prevent multitasking drift and strengthen buyer trust.

How can you read body language on screen — and what should you look for?

It’s harder online, but you still must watch for incongruent signals: when the buyer’s words don’t match their body language.

A classic example is tatemae (建前 / “public face or socially expected statement”) versus true intent. Buyers may say the polite thing while showing hesitation or doubt through posture, facial expression, or tone.

Look for:

• Delays before answering

• Forced smiles

• Lack of eye engagement

• Contradictory head movements
  Mini-summary: Even online, mismatched verbal and nonverbal cues reveal hidden concerns, including tatemae (建前 / public face statements).

Why is interrupting more dangerous online than in person?

When two people speak at once online, nobody hears clearly.

Salespeople often interrupt because a buyer’s comment sparks a thought. But online, interruption kills clarity and momentum.

Japanese helps prevent this because the verb comes at the end, forcing you to wait for meaning (tense, positive/negative). In English, sellers jump in too early and conversations turn into a mess.

Mini-summary: Online overlap ruins comprehension, so disciplined turn-taking is essential — especially in English.

Another common habit is mentally leaping ahead:

• You guess what they’ll say

• You prepare your response while they speak

• You stop listening deeply

• You interrupt to deliver your conclusion

You may still “hear” words, but you’re no longer studying:

• word choice

• tone

• emphasis

• what they don’t say

That’s where real needs are revealed.
Mini-summary: Anticipation shuts down real listening, causing you to miss the buyer’s true needs.

How do you clarify without irritating the buyer?

Because audio is unreliable, you must clarify more often online. But repeated “Sorry, what did you say?” can annoy buyers.

Prevent this upfront by explaining your approach:

• State that audio issues require more clarification.

• Tell them you’ll paraphrase frequently to confirm understanding.

• Emphasize that their message is important, so accuracy matters.

This protects the relationship while ensuring precision.
Mini-summary: Set expectations early so frequent clarification feels respectful, not incompetent.

How should you ask questions with Japanese buyers?

With many Japanese buyers, being questioned by a salesperson is unusual. They’ve been trained by years of weak pitching sellers, so questioning may feel intrusive unless permission is granted.

Use a culturally safe opening like:
“Maybe we can help you — I’m not sure yet — but to understand if that’s possible, would you mind if I asked a few questions?”

This reduces resistance and avoids cultural missteps.
Mini-summary: In Japan, gain permission before questioning to prevent resistance and build comfort.

What competitive advantage comes from mastering audio realities?

Assume audio will be a major issue — and prepare countermeasures:

• Headset

• Slower pacing

• Clear turn structure

• Paraphrasing discipline

• Early expectation setting

Most competitors will stumble along without adjusting. Your preparation lets you “steal a march” on them.
Mini-summary: Treat audio risk as normal, design around it, and you’ll outperform less-prepared rivals.

• Virtual selling punishes pitching habits and rewards structured questioning.

• Audio and language gaps make deep listening + clarification non-negotiable.

• Avoid interruptions and anticipation; they collapse understanding online.

• With Japanese buyers, permission-based questioning builds trust fast.

Founded in the U.S. in 1912, Dale Carnegie Training has supported individuals and companies worldwide for over a century in leadership, sales, presentation, executive coaching, and DEI. Our Tokyo office, established in 1963, has been empowering both 日本企業 (nihon kigyō / Japanese companies) and 外資系企業 (gaishikei kigyō / multinational companies in Japan) ever since.