Episode #232: We Buy From People We Like And Trust

Why do buyers “buy from people they like and trust,” and what changes online?

In any market, purchases flow toward people we like and trust. When we’re forced to buy from someone we dislike, we tolerate it. When we buy from someone we don’t trust, it’s usually out of desperation.

Online selling flips this dynamic: you’re asking a new potential client to trust you through a screen, often with fewer cues and more skepticism. Your goal is to pass two silent tests every buyer runs:

1. Do I like this person?

2. Do I trust this person enough to keep listening (and eventually buy)?

Mini-summary: Online sales amplifies likeability and trustworthiness as the core decision filters—before your proposal even matters.

Trust on video is built through professional presence, not extra persuasion. The most reliable way to disarm buyer skepticism is to look, sound, and behave like a credible business partner from the first second.

That means:

• Be well-presented on camera. Dress as if the meeting were in person.

• Use a clean branded background. It should highlight your firm and reduce home distractions.

• Keep gestures visible. Use hand movements in front of your torso so they aren’t chopped by virtual backgrounds.

• Sit upright and centered. Posture signals confidence and control.

• Look into the lens at eye level. This simulates direct eye contact and increases perceived sincerity.

These elements create a “safe” professional impression that reduces doubt and helps the buyer relax.

Mini-summary: Professional visual and vocal credibility is your first trust-builder online—before content or rapport.

What role does body language play online, and how do you protect it?

In face-to-face meetings, body language does a huge amount of persuasion work: confidence, credibility, calmness. Online, that signal gets compressed into a tiny screen box.

To protect body-language impact:

• Don’t overload the screen with slides. If you share too much, faces shrink and signals disappear.

• Design meetings to keep faces large. Aim to maximize visibility of expressions and micro-reactions.

• Stay crisp and clear in speech. Avoid filler words (“um,” “ah”) that dilute authority and irritate listeners.

Online communication favors clarity + visible confidence.

Mini-summary: Reduce on-screen clutter and increase face time; clarity and visible confidence replace many missing in-person cues.

When a buyer keeps their camera off, you’re effectively in a one-way “phone call” where they can see you, but you can’t see them. You still keep your camera on because:

• It lets you project credibility through visual presence.

• Turning yours off doesn’t restore equality—it reduces your influence.

The critical move is to take control early. You—not the buyer—must run the meeting. Right at the start, ask for cameras on.

A practical script:

“Thank you for your time today—I know you’re very busy. Over the last year I’ve done many online meetings, and they’re always more productive for both sides when we both have cameras on. So let’s both turn on our cameras for this brief meeting.”

Then the key step: stop talking.
Let the silence work. Don’t rescue the moment. Stay calm and wait.

This is hard in Japan because many salespeople treat the buyer like 神 (kami / “god”)—someone whose preferences must never be challenged. But calm leadership is not disrespect; it’s professionalism.

Mini-summary: Ask confidently, explain benefit, then stay silent. Keeping your camera on protects your credibility in Japan.

Is it risky to push for cameras on? What if they refuse?

Yes, it’s a calculated risk—and a useful filter.

If a prospect refuses basic engagement like turning on a camera, you should assume:

• Their willingness to buy is low.

• The meeting will be less productive.

• Your probability of success drops sharply.

If they say “I prefer not to,” you continue professionally—but internally downgrade the opportunity. In sales, you still push forward, yet recognize you may be dealing with a non-buyer.

Mini-summary: Camera refusal is often a strong signal of low buying intent; proceed professionally, but recalibrate expectations.

How does this reflect real sales conditions in Japan?

A real Tokyo example shows the cultural wall salespeople hit:

A salesperson cold-called a company and was told:

“We do not deal with people we are not already dealing with.”

He called again at a different time and received the exact same response from someone else. The takeaway is blunt: gatekeeping in Japan can be absolute, especially for new vendors without trust built in.

That is why first-meeting credibility and control matter so much here. You’re fighting skepticism plus cultural preference for established relationships.

Mini-summary: Japan’s strong preference for existing relationships makes early trust-signals and meeting control essential.

• Buyers everywhere purchase based on likeability + trust, and online makes these filters even stronger.

• Professional presence (dress, background, posture, eye-level camera) is your best defense against skepticism.

• Keep faces large and communication crisp; avoid over-sharing slides.

• In Japan, calmly requesting cameras on—and waiting in silence—shows leadership, not disrespect.

Founded in the U.S. in 1912, Dale Carnegie Training has supported individuals and companies worldwide for over a century in leadership, sales, presentation, executive coaching, and DEI. Our Tokyo office, established in 1963, has been empowering both Japanese and multinational corporate clients ever since.