Episode #233: Confidence And Truth In Selling

Confidence sells—but in Japan’s business environment, how you show confidence matters just as much as what you sell. Executives in 日本企業 (Japanese companies) and 外資系企業 (multinational companies) are increasingly wary of smooth talk that feels self-serving. The real question is: How do you sound confident and persuasive without sounding like a con artist?

Because buyers read your belief before they read your proposal. If you sound uncertain about your solution, clients assume you don’t trust it—so they won’t either.

But there’s a trap: confidence without honesty feels manipulative. When confidence is paired with strong communication skills, it can overwhelm buyers into saying yes… and then regretting it.

Mini-summary: Confidence is essential, but confidence alone isn’t trustworthy. Buyers want belief backed by integrity.

A con man is fueled by self-interest. They keep moving like a shark—always hunting for their next win, regardless of consequences. Their goal is the sale, not the relationship.

A professional seller is different. They want the client to succeed after the purchase. They play the long game: reorder, renewal, and reputation.

Mini-summary: Con men sell to benefit themselves. Professionals sell to benefit the buyer over time.

Kokorogamae (心構え — “true intention/mental attitude”) is the internal stance you bring into the sales conversation.

Ask yourself:

• Who am I here for—me or the buyer’s best interests?

• Am I aiming for a one-time transaction or lifetime value?

If your intention is to serve the buyer, confidence becomes reassuring. If your intention is to win at any cost, confidence becomes threatening.

Mini-summary: Kokorogamae (心構え — true intention) decides whether your confidence builds trust or suspicion.

A hard truth: if you don’t want to be in sales as a profession, you should leave it. Sales done badly damages clients, companies, and the reputation of the field.

Being professional means:

• selling solutions you truly believe in

• matching your claims to reality

• prioritizing the buyer’s long-term success

• earning repeat business through real value

Mini-summary: Professional sales is a commitment to truthful value creation, not clever persuasion.

How does the “reorder mindset” protect you from sounding transactional?

When you focus on the reorder instead of the sale, your behavior changes automatically:

• You ask deeper questions.

• You care about implementation and results.

• You follow up differently.

• You think like a partner, not a vendor.

Clients sense this. They feel your commitment to their success, not your hunger for commission.

Mini-summary: The reorder mindset reshapes your questions, follow-up, and credibility.

What kinds of questions show true sales professionalism?

Ask yourself whether your questions are:

Transactional (short-term):

• “Do you want Option A or B?”

• “When do you need delivery?”

• “What budget do you have?”

Long-term oriented (professional):

• “What outcome must this achieve for your team?”

• “What risks could stop success later?”

• “How will you measure impact six months from now?”

• “What would make this worth repeating?”

These questions only come naturally when your kokorogamae (心構え — true intention/mental attitude) is aligned with helping the buyer win.

Mini-summary: Long-term questions prove long-term intention—and clients trust what they can feel.

How can I check whether I’m coming across as a professional or a con man?

Record your sales presentation and listen like a buyer. Then ask:

Are you sounding like:
(A) a basic transactional provider?
(B) an overconfident con man?
(C) a true sales professional with correct kokorogamae (心構え — true intention/mental attitude)?

If the answer isn’t (C), the good news is you can improve—by revisiting your intention and rebuilding your message around client success.

Mini-summary: Your tone and language reveal your intention—so measure it honestly.

• Confidence sells only when grounded in integrity and client-first intention.

• Kokorogamae (心構え — true intention/mental attitude) determines whether buyers trust you.

• Long-term, reorder-focused selling is the opposite of con-man behavior.

• Professional sales means building lifetime value, not just closing today.

Founded in the U.S. in 1912, Dale Carnegie Training has supported individuals and companies worldwide for over a century in leadership, sales, presentation, executive coaching, and DEI. Our Tokyo office, established in 1963, has been empowering both Japanese and multinational corporate clients ever since.