Episode #259: How To Build Strong Relationships With Our Buyers (Part Three)

When a buyer hesitates, it’s rarely because your proposal is “wrong on paper.” It’s because trust isn’t there yet. Buyers don’t buy products or services first—they buy you, and the solution comes bundled with that relationship. If they don’t trust the person, even the best package in the world won’t feel right. Here are three time-tested principles to deepen buyer trust and move conversations forward naturally and ethically.

Because buying is emotional and rational. A buyer may agree your offering makes sense, but if they don’t feel confident in the person behind it, they won’t risk saying yes. Trust reduces perceived risk and makes every next step easier—questions become more open, objections become clearer, and decisions become faster.

Mini-summary: Buyers commit to people before they commit to proposals. Trust is the bridge between interest and action.

Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

Some sellers think, “If the buyer is boring, I tune out and wait for useful info.” That approach is costly. Selective listening makes you miss hidden signals—the meaning behind body language, tone, pauses, or what the buyer avoids saying. Real trust forms when buyers feel fully heard.

To listen well:

• Stay attentive and empathetic, even during “small talk.”

• Notice non-verbal cues: eye contact, posture, energy shifts.

• Listen for what matters to them, not just what helps you sell.

A simple memory-linking method to guide natural conversation

Use these connectors to help you remember key areas about a buyer’s life:

Nameplate → House → Family → Briefcase → Airplane → Tennis Racquet → Newspaper

Picture it vividly:
A huge silver nameplate crashes into a pink house. Inside is a giant baby (family) playing with a briefcase. The baby pulls out an old airplane whose propellers are black tennis racquets, with newspaper pages threaded through the strings.

These connectors help you naturally explore:

• Where they live

• Their family situation

• Their work background

• Their travel patterns

• Their hobbies

• Their industry news

You don’t ask everything in order, and you never interrogate. You use tact and diplomacy to show genuine curiosity.

Ask open questions using Who / What / Where / When / Why / How

Examples:

• Who have they worked for previously?

• What was that experience like?

• Where were they based?

• When did they join this company?

• Why did they choose it?

• How do they define success here?

People love to talk about themselves. When you listen with real interest, you move from “salesperson” to trusted business advisor.

Mini-summary: Listening isn’t waiting to talk; it’s discovering the buyer’s world. The more genuinely you listen, the more trust you earn.

Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

If you don’t know their interests, that’s fine—ask more questions. Buyers rarely reveal what truly matters until they feel safe. Early on, they’re “checking you out” to see whether you’re trustworthy.

As you ask and listen:

• You uncover what they care about most.

• You find similarities and shared experiences.

• You can frame your solution in their language.

When you combine Principle 7 (listening) and Principle 8 (speaking to their interests), buyers feel understood and respected, which makes trust grow naturally.

Mini-summary: You don’t need to guess their interests. Earn them through listening, then speak directly to what matters to them.

Principle 9: How do you make the buyer feel important without sounding fake?

Make the other person feel important — and do it sincerely.

Words like “honesty,” “sincerity,” and “genuine” are the foundation of these principles. Without them, the techniques become manipulation—and buyers see through that instantly.

Most people move through workdays with little praise or recognition. If you can spot something real to appreciate—effort, insight, resilience, leadership—and express it without exaggeration, you create a powerful bond of trust.

What sincerity looks like:

• Specific appreciation (“The way your team handled that rollout was impressive.”)

• No flattery for outcomes you don’t truly respect.

• Recognition of their thinking, not just their title.

This is especially relevant in 日本企業 (Japanese companies) and 外資系企業 (multinational companies) operating in 東京 (Tokyo), where long-term 信頼 (trust) and respectful communication strongly guide business decisions.

Mini-summary: Genuine appreciation makes buyers feel valued. When it’s sincere, it builds trust faster than any pitch.

Used together, these three principles turn selling into relationship-building:

1. You listen to understand the person.

2. You speak to what they value.

3. You recognize them sincerely.

This is how real partnerships form—and how long-term client loyalty grows.

Mini-summary: Ethical influence happens when trust leads. These principles make trust practical.

• Buyers buy people first, then solutions—trust is the deciding factor.

• Deep listening reveals what buyers really need and feel.

• Speaking in their interests makes your solution naturally compelling.

• Sincere recognition creates lasting 信頼 (trust) without manipulation.

Founded in the U.S. in 1912, Dale Carnegie Training has supported individuals and companies worldwide for over a century in leadership, sales, presentation, executive coaching, and DEI. Our Tokyo office, established in 1963, has been empowering both Japanese and multinational corporate clients ever since.