Episode #331: Be Very Careful With Your Chitchat When Selling

Why do salespeople talk too much—and how does it hurt results?

Salespeople are naturally enthusiastic. We love describing our differentiation, solutions, features, and benefits. But many of us get stuck in “first gear,” doing most of the talking. Even advanced sellers who aim to be trusted advisors can fall into the same trap: over-explaining instead of uncovering what the client truly needs.

When your voice is the only one filling the room (or online call), you’re talking too much. The danger is simple: you already know your product, but you don’t yet know the client’s world. And you can’t learn it unless they do the talking.

Mini-summary: Talking creates energy, but listening creates insight. If you’re speaking most of the time, you’re losing the chance to discover real needs.

There’s a moment every salesperson recognizes: you’re on a roll, full of belief, and then it hits you—“Wait…I’m doing all the talking.” That’s your cue. Stop. Ask a question. Let silence do its work.

Clients don’t buy because we talk well. They buy because they feel understood. That understanding only comes from their stories, their priorities, and their context—none of which you can access while you’re monologuing.

Mini-summary: Your self-awareness is a sales skill. Catch the “I’m on a roll” moment and switch the focus back to the buyer.

In Japan, early meetings often begin with light conversation before moving into the main topic. This isn’t wasted time. It’s a mutual “feeling-out” phase where both sides decide whether this relationship will be valuable.

If you’re nervous, you may talk too fast or too much to fill the space. But the opening minutes should never be one-way traffic. Your job is to help the client relax and participate, not to impress them with volume.

In Japanese business culture (日本企業 Nihon kigyō / “Japanese companies”), rapport develops through balance, patience, and shared space—not performance.

Mini-summary: Small talk in Japan is a trust-building tool. Use it to create a two-way rhythm, not a solo speech.

When clients talk freely, they show you who they are. Their pace, tone, and directness offer clues about decision style and expectations.

Example: a foreign president at a global manufacturer slid his business card across the table casually—like dealing poker. That signaled unfamiliarity with Japanese norms. When small talk began, he cut it off: “Let’s get down to business.” That indicated a “Driver” style—time-focused, direct, efficiency-driven. The right response was to be clear, concise, and recommendation-oriented.

You can’t adapt your approach if you don’t first hear them.

Mini-summary: Listening early helps you tailor your style fast. Personality clues appear only when you give clients room to speak.

What questions help clients open up at the start?

In typical Japanese meetings, the opening conversation may feel aimless, and that’s okay. The goal isn’t the content—it’s engagement and balance. Keep your contributions short, then hand the ball to them.

Try simple, people-focused questions like:

• “How long have you been in this role?”

• “Are you originally from Tokyo (東京 Tōkyō / “Tokyo”)?”

• “Is your team mostly back in the office or still working remotely?”

These questions get them talking and give you early insight. Then you can naturally bridge into their business direction, challenges, and needs.

Mini-summary: Start with easy, human questions. The value is not the answer—it’s getting them speaking.

Why is over-talking risky at the end of the sales process?

Closing is another danger zone. Once the buyer agrees, many sellers keep layering on information to “reinforce the decision.” But too much detail can create new doubts that didn’t exist before.

You need to give enough information to gain agreement—and not one skerrick more. Overselling after the “yes” may snag the sale entirely by raising a concern you accidentally introduced.

Mini-summary: After agreement, extra talking is not helpful—it’s risky. Shift from selling to executing.

What should you say after the client says “yes”?

You should reassure the buyer—but briefly and confidently. Broad, calm statements are enough, such as:

• “I’m sure this solution will make a real difference for your organization, and we’ll follow up to ensure it works for you.”

Then move straight into next steps. Clients feel safer hearing a concrete execution plan than another round of features.

This is especially important with Japanese firms (日本企業 Nihon kigyō / “Japanese companies”) and multinational teams (外資系企業 Gaishikei kigyō / “foreign-affiliated companies”), where clarity and process reduce uncertainty.

Mini-summary: Confirm the wisdom of the decision, then talk about implementation. That protects momentum.

Salespeople love to talk. We love our solution. So discipline is the real skill:

• Catch yourself when you’re adding no value.

• Reset.

• Stop overselling.

• Pivot to delivery and outcomes.

After agreement, aim for them to talk more than you. Keeping that balance prevents mistakes, builds trust, and strengthens long-term partnerships.

Mini-summary: The best sellers manage themselves first. Less talking after agreement leads to smoother deals and stronger trust.

• If your voice dominates, you’re missing the client’s reality—and the sale.

• Early meeting balance is crucial in Japan (日本 Nihon / “Japan”).

• Letting clients talk reveals personality, decision style, and real needs.

• After a “yes,” stop selling and start executing.

Founded in the U.S. in 1912, Dale Carnegie Training has supported individuals and companies worldwide for over a century in leadership, sales, presentation, executive coaching, and DEI. Our Tokyo office, established in 1963, has been empowering both Japanese and multinational corporate clients ever since.