Episode #342: Don't Be In Awe Of the Buyer When Selling

Ever walked into a sales meeting in Tokyo and felt the buyer held all the power? Many sales professionals—especially early in their careers—get nervous in front of high-ranking executives. In Japan, that anxiety can grow fast because buyers are often treated as untouchable. This page reframes that reality and shows how to run a respectful, structured sales call that leads to real outcomes.

Because in many Japanese companies (日本企業, Japanese companies), seniority and status shape the room before you even speak. Buyers may be viewed not as “king,” but as “god,” and they sometimes expect the salesperson to follow their lead.

Cause → effect:
When a salesperson accepts that hierarchy as fixed, they become reactive, overly polite, and hesitant to guide the conversation—making a win-win sale less likely.

Mini-summary:
Intimidation grows when sellers forget that leadership of the sales process is their responsibility, not the buyer’s.

No. Respect the buyer—but don’t surrender the call.

The seller’s role is to seize responsibility for the meeting, lead it through proven stages, and create a result that benefits both sides. If the buyer dominates the structure, the conversation stalls into opinion, pressure, or “pitch-and-destroy.”

Cause → effect:
When the seller runs the process, the buyer can focus on real needs, not power dynamics.

Mini-summary:
In any market—including Tokyo (東京, Tokyo)—the seller must guide the meeting to protect clarity and outcomes.

What’s the first step to leading a Japanese sales meeting?

Start with rapport—through small talk.

Japan is culturally excellent at relationship building, so Japanese salespeople often do this naturally. But if you’re shy, introverted, or socially awkward, you must train this skill intentionally. It won’t “fix itself.”

Try simple openers like:

• “How long have you been with the firm?”

• “How long has your office been in this location?”

Your goal is to get them talking early.

Cause → effect:
Early dialogue reveals how they think, which helps you choose the right communication style.

Mini-summary:
Rapport isn’t fluff in Japan—it’s your gateway to reading the buyer and leading effectively.

How do you identify the buyer’s personality style quickly?

Listen for pace, focus, and language:

• Driver: brief, “time is money,” wants business fast.

• Expressive: big-picture, assertive, future-focused.

• Analytical: facts, statistics, evidence, proof, numbers.

• Amiable: relationship-oriented, checks comfort and trust.

Once you sense their style, mirror their communication. You don’t change who you are—you change the language you use.

Cause → effect:
Matching style reduces friction and positions you as a trustworthy professional partner.

Mini-summary:
Style-matching is the fastest way to build credibility in Japanese and multinational contexts (外資系企業, multinational/foreign-affiliated companies).

Why must you ask permission to ask questions in Japan?

Because many buyers have been trained to expect a “pitch” first. They may assume your value is proven only after they critique your presentation.

So, in Japan, you often need to seek permission before shifting to questions. This shows respect and lowers psychological resistance.

Cause → effect:
Once permission is granted, your questions are seen as collaboration—not challenge.

Mini-summary:
In Japan, asking to ask is a cultural bridge that protects trust while keeping you in control.

Adopt the right kokorogamae (心構え, true intention / mental posture).

Instead of chasing a one-time sale, focus on whether you can truly help the buyer succeed. The goal is the re-order, not the first transaction.

Ask yourself:

• “Is there a real match between their needs and our solution?”

• “If not, should we respectfully step away?”

Cause → effect:
With service-first intention, fear disappears—and status becomes irrelevant.

Mini-summary:
When your kokorogamae (心構え, true intention) is to serve, you stop selling at people and start building success with them.

How should sellers think of their solution?

Think like a responsible professional with a cure.

If your solution genuinely fixes business pain, you are duty-bound to uncover whether they need it. That’s not arrogance—it’s ethical clarity.

Cause → effect:
This mentality keeps you confident, curious, and structured even with CEOs and presidents.

Mini-summary:
Your job isn’t to be impressed by power—it’s to diagnose value and help if the fit is real.

• In Japan, buyers may be treated as “god,” but sellers must still lead the call.

• Rapport first → style diagnosis → tailored communication → controlled questions.

• Ask permission to ask questions to align with Japanese buyer expectations.

• A service-based kokorogamae (心構え, true intention) removes fear and improves outcomes.

Founded in the U.S. in 1912, Dale Carnegie Training has supported individuals and companies worldwide for over a century in leadership, sales, presentation, executive coaching, and DEI. Our Tokyo office, established in 1963, has been empowering both Japanese and multinational corporate clients ever since.