Episode #68: Disagreeing Agreeably Well

Why do workplace disagreements damage teamwork?

In any organization, disagreements will happen. Power, politics, silos, and strong personalities can quickly turn a simple difference of opinion into a battle of egos. When this happens, teamwork and trust suffer.

Leaders in 日本企業 (Japanese companies) and 外資系企業 (foreign / multinational companies) in 東京 (Tokyo) need practical tools to keep collaboration strong, even when people see things differently.

Mini-summary: Conflict is normal. The goal is not to “win,” but to protect relationships and keep teamwork strong.

Instead of jumping to conclusions, slow down and assume positive intent. The other person may have information, risks, or pressures you do not see yet. Start by thinking: “There might be more to this story.”

When you begin from curiosity instead of judgment, people feel safer to share what they really think. This is the foundation for healthy conflict in any リーダーシップ研修 (leadership training) or エグゼクティブ・コーチング (executive coaching) program.

Mini-summary: Assume positive intent first. It opens the door to honest, calm discussion.

Most of us listen just enough to reply, not to understand. In heated moments, we interrupt, talk over others, and prepare our comeback instead of hearing their message.

Shift to empathetic listening:

• Focus fully on the speaker.

• Listen for facts and emotions.

• Hold back your own response until they finish.

This kind of listening is critical for managers in 日本企業 (Japanese companies) and 外資系企業 (multinational companies) who lead diverse teams and take part in DEI研修 (DEI training).

Mini-summary: Listen to learn, not to win. Real listening lowers tension and gives you better information.

What is a “cushion statement,” and how do I use it?

A cushion is a short, respectful phrase that shows you heard the other person before you share your own view. Examples:

• “I hear what you’re saying, and what you’re saying is important.”

• “I understand your point of view.”

• “I can see why you feel that way.”

First, let them finish. Then use the cushion. This creates a small pause that gives you time to think and keeps emotions under control. It is a simple but powerful tool we use in リーダーシップ研修 (leadership training), 営業研修 (sales training), and プレゼンテーション研修 (presentation training).

Mini-summary: Cushion statements show respect, buy you thinking time, and keep conversations calm.

Why should I avoid words like “but” and “however”?

If you say, “I understand your view, but…” people feel everything before “but” is fake. Words like “but” and “however” trigger resistance.

Instead:

• Replace “but” and “however” with “and”.

  • “I understand your concern, and I’d like to share another angle.”

• Or add a short pause after your cushion, then share your view.

Also pay attention to your tone and body language. Even good words can sound negative if your face or voice is tense.

Mini-summary: Avoid “but” and “however.” They cancel your empathy and can restart the argument.

How can I use facts without creating enemies?

Opinions are easy to fight. Facts are harder to ignore—but how you use them matters.

Use evidence gently:

• “I may not have all the facts, and I heard that… How does that match your experience?”

• Share data as something to explore together, not as a weapon to prove them wrong.

Remember: no one wants to lose face or feel humiliated, especially in 日本企業 (Japanese companies) and 外資系企業 (multinational companies) cultures. How you present facts can decide whether you gain support or create long-term resistance.

Mini-summary: Use facts with humility and respect, so you stay credible and protect relationships.

or more than 100 years globally and over 60 years in 東京 (Tokyo), Dale Carnegie has helped leaders and teams:

• Turn conflict into constructive dialogue.

• Build trust across functions, levels, and cultures.

• Communicate clearly in high-pressure situations.

Our programs in リーダーシップ研修 (leadership training), 営業研修 (sales training), プレゼンテーション研修 (presentation training), エグゼクティブ・コーチング (executive coaching), and DEI研修 (DEI training) give managers and executives practical tools to “disagree agreeably” while protecting teamwork.

Mini-summary: Dale Carnegie Tokyo gives leaders simple, proven methods to handle conflict with confidence and empathy.

• Assume positive intent to keep discussions open and calm.

• Listen to understand, not to reply, especially in tense moments.

• Use cushion statements and avoid “but” / “however” to maintain respect.

• Present facts gently so you stay credible without damaging relationships.

Founded in the U.S. in 1912, Dale Carnegie Training has supported individuals and companies worldwide for over a century in leadership, sales, presentation, executive coaching, and DEI. Our Tokyo office, established in 1963, has been empowering both Japanese and multinational corporate clients ever since.