Episode #81: How to Give Praise That Resonates

Why do my Japanese staff react awkwardly when I praise them?

As leaders, we are told that recognition and positive feedback are powerful motivators. Yet in many Japanese workplaces, when a manager publicly praises someone, the reaction is often… flat. The person being praised looks embarrassed, the rest of the team stays quiet, and the whole moment feels strangely tense instead of energizing.

This happens because many team members feel skeptical, cautious, or even suspicious about praise. They may worry that:

• The praise is not sincere

• There is some hidden agenda behind the kind words

• Their colleagues will resent them for being singled out

In other words, what was intended as motivation can easily turn into social pressure and discomfort.

Mini-summary: Praise is often met with skepticism in Japan, not because people dislike recognition, but because they are sensitive to how it affects group harmony and how genuine it feels.

Japan’s strong group orientation and consensus-driven culture shape how people expect recognition to be given.

In many Japanese organizations:

• The group is more important than the individual. Standing out can feel risky.

• Public praise can disrupt group balance. When one person is singled out, others may quietly feel overlooked or jealous.

• The “nail that sticks out gets hammered down” mindset is real. Being too visible can invite criticism or negative gossip.

So when a manager praises one person in front of everyone, several things may happen at once:

• Some colleagues feel they also deserved recognition.

• A few may see the praised person as “hogging the spotlight.”

• The praised employee senses these reactions and feels burdened or embarrassed instead of proud.

The result: what should have been a positive, energizing moment becomes a social strain. The person who received the praise now has to manage the group’s reactions.

Mini-summary: In Japan, public praise can unintentionally damage group harmony and make the praised person feel exposed, rather than supported.

The answer is: it depends on the individual. Not everyone responds to praise the same way.

• Some people enjoy public recognition.
  They are comfortable standing out, don’t worry about jealous colleagues, and feel motivated when their success is visible.

• Others prefer private praise.
  They care deeply about their relationships with coworkers and worry about how praise may change how others see them. For these people, one-on-one recognition feels safer and more respectful.

A practical approach for leaders:

1. “Pick your mark” carefully.
   Notice who seems energized by public attention and who looks uncomfortable.

2. Use private praise by default for more harmony-sensitive staff.
   A sincere comment in a one-on-one meeting or a personal message can be much more powerful than a big announcement.

3. Experiment and observe.
   Try different styles of recognition and watch how people respond over time.

Mini-summary: Effective leaders in Japan adapt their style—using public praise for those who welcome visibility and private recognition for those who value harmony and discretion.

Even in one-on-one settings, many Japanese professionals still react cautiously to praise. There are two common suspicions:

1. “Is this a trap?”
   They fear that praise is just the warm-up before criticism or a difficult request.

2. “Do I really deserve this?”
   Humility is highly valued, so people are often quick to question whether the compliment is justified.

One major reason for this doubt: praise is relatively rare in many Japanese business environments. When something is unusual, it attracts extra scrutiny. If praise appears out of nowhere and is expressed in a vague way—“Good job” or “Well done”—the receiver struggles to connect the words to anything concrete.

Without a clear link between what they did and what you are praising, your message can feel hollow or manipulative, even if your intentions are good.

Mini-summary: Private praise can still feel suspicious if it is vague, infrequent, or disconnected from specific actions and observable evidence.

To make praise credible and motivating, leaders need a structure that connects specific behavior to clear recognition. The TAPEQ framework provides exactly that:

T = Things
Comments on appearance or physical items, such as clothing, tools, or materials they use.
(Used less in business, but sometimes relevant in client-facing roles.)

A = Accomplishments
Concrete outcomes and results: deals closed, projects completed, problems solved.

P = Personal Qualities
Strengths and traits such as patience, discipline, persistence, concentration, and energy.

E = Evidence
Observable proof that justifies your praise: what you saw, read, or heard that backs up your comment.

Q = Questions
Open questions that invite them to talk about what they did, how they did it, and what they learned.

In most business situations, Accomplishments and Personal Qualities are the most valuable focus areas. Evidence and Questions turn a simple compliment into a meaningful interaction that the employee can trust.

Mini-summary: TAPEQ helps leaders transform vague compliments into specific, evidence-based praise that feels authentic and highly relevant to work performance.

Here is an example of how a manager could apply TAPEQ when an employee successfully secures a major new client:

“Thank you for your work on landing Megacorp as a new big client. (Accomplishment)
I saw the email traffic and noticed your sustained effort to respond to their concerns and keep the deal alive, even when it looked like it might collapse several times. (Evidence + Personal Qualities like persistence and discipline)
Well done. How did you manage to keep going through all those setbacks?” (Question)

What is happening in this example?

• The manager clearly names the result (winning Megacorp).

• They reference specific proof (email exchanges, responses to difficulties).

• They highlight personal qualities (sustained effort, resilience).

• They end with a question, shifting the focus to the employee’s story.

This question invites the employee to reflect, share details, and reinforce their own sense of capability. It also shifts attention away from “What is my boss really thinking?” to “Here’s how I did it.” That reduces suspicion and builds confidence.

Mini-summary: By combining outcome, evidence, and a thoughtful question, TAPEQ turns praise into a confident, credible conversation that strengthens motivation and trust.

What mindset should leaders adopt about praise in Japan?

To use praise effectively with Japanese teams, leaders should:

• Respect cultural context.
  Understand that group harmony, modesty, and sensitivity to hierarchy all influence how praise is received.

• Aim for precision, not volume.
  A smaller number of well-structured, evidence-based compliments is more powerful than frequent vague praise.

• Shift from “performing” praise to “coaching” praise.
  Treat every recognition moment as a coaching opportunity where you help the person understand what they did well and how they grew.

• Stay observant and flexible.
  Different employees—and different generations—have different comfort levels with visibility and recognition.

When praise is specific, earned, and culturally aware, it stops being a burden and becomes a strategic tool for engagement, performance, and retention.

Mini-summary: Leaders who combine cultural sensitivity with structured, specific praise will turn recognition into a powerful driver of motivation, not a source of tension.

• Public praise is not always positive in Japan. It can trigger jealousy, embarrassment, and anxiety about group harmony.

• Adapt your approach to each person. Some team members thrive on public recognition, while others respond best to private, one-on-one praise.

• Vague praise is risky. Without specific evidence, compliments can feel insincere or manipulative, especially in cultures where praise is rare.

• Use TAPEQ to structure your feedback. Focus on Accomplishments and Personal Qualities, support them with clear Evidence, and deepen the conversation with Questions.

Founded in the U.S. in 1912, Dale Carnegie Training has supported individuals and companies worldwide for over a century in leadership, sales, presentation, executive coaching, and DEI. Our Tokyo office, established in 1963, has been empowering both Japanese and multinational corporate clients ever since.