Episode #99: Send It To Me - Uh Oh!

Why do buyers say “send it to me,” and why does it feel like a dead end?

When a buyer says “send it to me,” it usually signals avoidance, not progress. It often comes after you’ve tried (sometimes twice) to secure a face-to-face meeting and they refuse. At that point, you can’t keep pushing without looking socially tone deaf or desperate—both unattractive in a seller.

Most buyers justify this with “I’m too busy to meet.” But the subtext is clearer: they haven’t felt enough value yet. If value were obvious, time would appear.
Mini-summary: “Send it to me” is rarely a neutral request; it’s often an escape hatch because the buyer isn’t convinced yet.

If the request is for brochures or flyers, the outcome is brutally predictable: they get skimmed or ignored, then vanish into the wastebasket. Without your presence to frame meaning and relevance, your materials lose power instantly.

Even if you had a great first conversation, passive documents don’t recreate the momentum or emotion of a live meeting. They don’t answer questions in the moment. They don’t adapt. They don’t sell.

Mini-summary: Basic materials sent without context almost never move a deal forward.

Senior decision makers often ask for materials “to share with the team.” But what does that really look like inside organizations—especially in Japan?

Typically, the document is forwarded to the designated person with almost no explanation. Your hour-long, value-rich conversation shrinks to “take a look at this.”

Worse, the internal recipients may resist anything that feels imposed from above. You can run into the “not invented here” reaction—where if they didn’t discover it themselves, they assume it’s not good.

Mini-summary: Materials passed down internally lose your value story and may trigger resistance instead of curiosity.

Before you send anything, change the game: ask the senior person to introduce you to the people who will actually execute or evaluate. Always ask, even if you suspect they’ll resist.

Make the request hard to refuse by linking it to their self-interest. Example:
“Suzuki-san, what we’ve found is that when we present our materials to the people at the coal face, they see far more possibilities because they know the real work. Would it benefit your company to generate innovative ideas if I could walk your team through this, instead of passing materials without context?”

You’re not begging for a meeting—you’re offering them a better outcome.

Mini-summary: Don’t just send; use the request as a bridge to meet the real stakeholders.

A proposal sent by email goes out “naked.” The buyer will jump straight to the back page, see only cost, and miss value.

Without you there to connect investment with return, they can’t rationalize the two easily. You know the product, the outcomes, and the success patterns far better than they do. But your proposal can’t talk back. It can’t defend itself.

Think of the proposal like a magazine headline: without the full article (your explanation), it’s easy to misread or dismiss.

Mini-summary: A proposal without a live value conversation invites price-only judgment.

What does “send it to me” really mean about your sales process?

If the buyer won’t make time, it’s a sign they haven’t been sold enough on value. That doesn’t mean you’re a bad seller—it means the value story didn’t land firmly enough yet.

Buyers reject proposals when they see costs detached from return. But in many strong sales, the “real cost” is effectively zero because it’s funded by growth or savings created afterward. That logic is rarely discovered by the buyer alone—you need to lead them to it.

Mini-summary: “Send it to me” often reflects a value gap you must close live.

How hard should you push for a face-to-face meeting?

Push hard—but not so hard you look like an idiot. After two refusals, you’re boxed in; sending becomes unavoidable.

Still, remember: today’s “no” is only “no right now.” It’s shaped by timing, business cycle, and this year’s budget. It’s not “no forever.”

The best sellers don’t collapse when a deal stalls. They keep working other buyers, stay patient, and return when conditions change.

Mini-summary: Push for meetings until you can’t, then stay professional and play the long game.

How does this apply to sales in Japanese companies and multinational firms in Tokyo?

In 日本企業 (Japanese companies) and 外資系企業 (multinational companies), especially in 東京 (Tokyo), internal alignment matters. Deals can die quietly when mid-level implementers feel excluded or imposed upon.

That’s why relationship-first, meeting-first selling is essential. You need to involve the practical team early, not after the proposal is already “sent down.”

Mini-summary: In Japan, deals are won by aligning both senior sponsors and real executors through live dialogue.

• “Send it to me” is usually a signal of low value conviction, not genuine progress.

• Documents without live context lose impact and invite internal rejection.

• Use the request to earn introductions to the executing team, not to retreat.

• Proposals must be walked through; otherwise buyers judge price without value.

Founded in the U.S. in 1912, Dale Carnegie Training has supported individuals and companies worldwide for over a century in leadership, sales, presentation, executive coaching, and DEI. Our Tokyo office, established in 1963, has been empowering both Japanese and multinational corporate clients ever since.