Who’s Got the Monkey? How Leaders Lose Control When They’re Too Busy | Dale Carnegie Tokyo

It was a Saturday when I received a staff leave request. It reminded me that we hadn’t had our weekly meeting in a while — in fact, quite a few had been skipped. My schedule was overflowing, and I was the problem.

That moment brought back the classic Harvard Business Review article by Bill Oncken and Don Wass (1974) — “Management Time: Who’s Got the Monkey?” It remains one of HBR’s all-time best-selling reprints, and for good reason. The “monkey,” in their metaphor, represents responsibility — and too often, leaders carry monkeys that belong to others.

Mini-summary:
Busyness is not productivity. When leaders take back what they’ve delegated, they lose time, trust, and control.

Staff accountability is a delicate dance.
Leaders want updates; staff often want distance. A missed meeting? For them, it’s a small victory — no tough questions, no pressure to report progress. For the boss, it’s a silent warning: the monkeys are coming back.

When we cancel, postpone, or deprioritize one-on-ones, we unknowingly give permission for accountability to fade. It’s a leadership blind spot — disguised as “I’m too busy.”

Mini-summary:
Every skipped meeting is an open invitation for responsibility to slide back onto the boss’s shoulders.

When staff don’t meet expectations, the boss’s instinct often whispers: “It’ll be faster if I do it myself.”
That’s the most dangerous thought in management. It kills empowerment, reclaims monkeys, and fills your calendar with other people’s work.

Ambitious, high-performing leaders often fall into this trap. Their drive, stamina, and efficiency — the very qualities that made them successful — now become obstacles. Without realizing it, they create systems that depend entirely on them.

Mini-summary:
If you keep doing your team’s work, you’re not leading — you’re limiting.

Douglas McGregor’s classic model helps us reflect.

• Theory X leaders assume people avoid responsibility.

• Theory Y leaders believe people want to do a good job.

When we’re overworked, it’s easy to drift toward X — to think, “They’re manipulating my busyness to escape accountability.”
Instead, a Y-leader reframes: “They’re trying their best, but our schedules aren’t aligned.” That shift opens the door to empathy and better systems.

Mini-summary:
Accountability grows faster in an environment of trust than in one of suspicion.

Half of the leaders I train admit they don’t plan their days around priorities. That surprises me, because I plan obsessively — maybe too much. I love ticking off tasks, but there’s a risk: being too efficient leaves no space for people.

Without white space in the calendar, there’s no time for reflection, questions, or coaching — the true work of leadership.

Mini-summary:
If every minute is scheduled, there’s no room left for leadership to breathe.

Meetings with staff aren’t interruptions — they’re the engine of accountability and growth.
When I miss them, I lose the chance to coach, ask questions, and make sure monkeys stay on the right backs. The goal isn’t to do more — it’s to do less, better.

Awareness is the first step. Like any skill, leading with balance requires constant calibration.

Mini-summary:
Leadership effectiveness often means doing less — but doing it with more intention.

• Skipped meetings breed invisible accountability gaps.

• Avoid “buying back” delegation — it’s a silent leadership failure.

• Balance efficiency with reflection and people time.

• Adopt a Theory Y mindset — trust and coach, not control.

• Awareness of your busyness trap is the first step to reclaiming effectiveness.

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