How Leaders Can Strengthen Relationships With Their Team (Part Two)

In the last episode we covered three principles for strengthening relationships: avoid criticism, express sincere appreciation, and arouse in others an eager want.

In this episode, we advance the relationship-building process with three more human relations principles you can apply immediately—especially in time-poor, hybrid, high-pressure workplaces.

How do leaders build trust when everyone is time-poor and work feels transactional?

Trust grows when you stop trying to “efficiency” your relationships and start investing intentional time in getting to know people. In many teams today, calendars are packed, inboxes are endless, and communication is reduced to tasks and short messages. That produces speed, but not trust. If you don’t build trust, you’re left with a thin, transactional relationship where people comply when watched and disconnect when stressed. In Japan, this shows up as low information-sharing and slow buy-in; in the US or Europe it often looks like passive resistance, quiet quitting, or blunt disagreement later in the process.

The solution is simple but non-negotiable: get to know people and let them get to know you. Shared understanding creates smoother cooperation, especially when targets, deadlines, and stakeholder pressure increase.

Do now: Block 15 minutes this week for one team member and ask one real question—then listen properly.

How can you become genuinely interested in others without it sounding fake?

Genuine interest is curiosity without an agenda—people can instantly detect “being nice” as a tactic. Modern work can push everyone toward self-focus: we’re time-poor, mentally overloaded, and running on our own priorities. But leaders can’t afford to treat relationships like a transaction. Trying to “get to know people so you can use them” doesn’t work; it only works once, and then the damage spreads quickly in an interconnected organisation. Genuine interest is different: it’s respectful attention to someone’s experience, skills, and point of view, including why they think the way they do.

When you learn what matters to a colleague—family, craft, expertise, history, ambitions—you create a richer workplace and reduce misunderstandings. This is not soft. It’s leadership infrastructure.

Do now: Ask: “What’s something you’re enjoying outside of work lately?” and stay curious for two minutes longer than feels comfortable.

Why do shared interests improve teamwork and reduce conflict?

Shared interests create connection, and connection makes cooperation easier—especially under pressure. When leaders and team members don’t know each other, the brain fills the gap with stories: “They’re not committed,” “They don’t care,” “They’re difficult.” Those stories fuel friction. Shared interests replace those assumptions with understanding. The more things you share in common, the easier it is to get on with each other, and the easier it becomes to solve problems without ego. In Japan, that connection often enables smoother nemawashi and fewer last-minute surprises. In multinational teams, it reduces cross-cultural misreads and builds psychological safety for honest conversations.

Seeing another person’s point of view requires knowing what it is—and understanding why they hold it. That doesn’t happen by accident. Leaders create it on purpose through genuine interest and repeated, human interaction.

Do now: For each direct report, write one “common point” you’ve learned (interest, background, strengths) and use it to start a better conversation.

Does smiling actually change leadership outcomes, or is it fluff?

Smiling lowers threat levels, increases approachability, and makes cooperation more likely—before you even speak. It sounds too simple, which is why busy leaders ignore it. But look around most workplaces and you’ll see stressed faces, furrowed brows, and serious expressions. Technology was meant to give us more time, yet many people feel busier and more pressured than ever. In that environment, leaders can accidentally become intimidating—without intending to—simply through facial expression and emotional tone.

A smile is not weakness. It’s a deliberate leadership signal: “You’re safe with me.” When you smile first, you change the atmosphere and make the other person more likely to cooperate and feel pleased to see you. The leadership standard stays high; the relationship temperature improves.

Do now: Before your next team conversation, smile first—then speak.

Why is remembering names such a big advantage in Japan, client work, and networking?

Remembering someone’s name communicates respect and recognition—and forgetting it creates distance you can’t afford. Leaders deal with many people across divisions, projects, and meetings, and you won’t always see the same stakeholders every time. But when you bump into someone in the hallway, in a meeting room, or later on another project, being able to remember their name strengthens rapport instantly. In Japan, decision-making frequently includes many stakeholders, so missing people in the group is risky. In client-facing work and industry events, you’re representing your organisation, and names matter because competition is real: if your competitor remembers names and you don’t, you’re at a major disadvantage.

Names aren’t a “nice-to-have.” They are a practical business skill that supports cooperation, trust, and influence across the organisation and market.

Do now: Use a person’s name early in the conversation—and once again before you finish.

What’s a practical system to remember names when you only meet people periodically?

You don’t need a perfect memory—you need a repeatable method you use every single time. Most people have the “I know the face, but can’t remember the name” problem, especially when meetings are infrequent. Treat name recall like any skill: practise it, build a system, and improve over time. In Japan, map stakeholders to decision roles; in multinationals, map them to function and region. Repeat the name immediately when you hear it, connect it to a role (“Finance Tanaka-san”), and write it down afterwards while it’s fresh. For clients and key internal stakeholders, keep a simple relationship note so you’re ready before the next meeting or chance hallway encounter.

Your ability to interact well is a critical business function. Mastering names is one of the fastest ways to improve executive presence.

Do now: After your next meeting, write down three names and one identifying detail for each—then review it before you see them again.

Conclusion

These three principles work because they are human: genuine interest builds trust, shared interests reduce friction, smiling improves approachability, and names create recognition. None of this is manipulation. It’s leadership done properly—so people feel seen, cooperation rises, and work gets easier when the pressure is on.

Quick Actions (This Week)

• Schedule one short “relationship-building” conversation with a team member.

• Ask one genuine question you don’t already know the answer to—and listen fully.

• Smile first in your next difficult conversation to reset the emotional tone.

• Use names deliberately in meetings and write three names down immediately after.

FAQs

Yes—trust can be built quickly. Small, consistent moments of genuine interest beat rare “big talks.”

No—smiling doesn’t lower standards. It increases approachability so people can engage without defensiveness.

Yes—names really matter in Japan. Multi-stakeholder decision-making makes recognition and recall a practical advantage.

Author Credentials

Dr. Greg Story, Ph.D. in Japanese Decision-Making, is President of Dale Carnegie Tokyo Training and Adjunct Professor at Griffith University. He is a two-time winner of the Dale Carnegie “One Carnegie Award” (2018, 2021) and recipient of the Griffith University Business School Outstanding Alumnus Award (2012). As a Dale Carnegie Master Trainer, Greg is certified to deliver globally across all leadership, communication, sales, and presentation programs, including Leadership Training for Results.

He has written several books, including three best-sellers — Japan Business Mastery, Japan Sales Mastery, and Japan Presentations Mastery — along with Japan Leadership Mastery and How to Stop Wasting Money on Training. His works have been translated into Japanese, including Za Eigyō (ザ営業), Purezen no Tatsujin (プレゼンの達人), Torēningu de Okane o Muda ni Suru no wa Yamemashō (トレーニングでお金を無駄にするのはやめましょう), and Gendaiban “Hito o Ugokasu” Rīdā (現代版「人を動かす」リーダー).

Greg also publishes daily business insights on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter, and hosts six weekly podcasts. On YouTube, he produces The Cutting Edge Japan Business Show, Japan Business Mastery, and Japan’s Top Business Interviews, which are widely followed by executives seeking success strategies in Japan.