Episode 382: Consensus Selling: The Invisible Decision-Makers Behind the Meeting Room Wall

A while back I was listening to a Victor Antonio podcast entitled, “The Sales Influence” and in this particular podcast he asked a question: “Is it ever a good idea to send a proposal?”

Now, I’m a big fan of Victor Antonio. He’s an extremely sharp salesperson and he knows the sales process inside and out. His podcast is often gold.

However, while he made a lot of good points, I couldn’t help thinking that his advice might not always apply so well in Japan.

The first reason is: Japan is a very polite society. As a result, Japanese buyers will often not say “no” directly. Instead, they tend to avoid a direct rejection. So if you are trying to close a deal and you hear:

“Okay, send me your proposal.”

You might mistakenly take this as a buying signal, but in Japan, it could also be a soft and polite way to reject you.

However, there is a way to sniff out whether the buyer is serious. If a buyer asks for a proposal, agree to it, but ask to explain your pricing while you are still in the room.

After all, you know what you will have to do, so you should be able to explain pricing on the spot. Or at least explain the major component of your pricing on the spot.

If the buyer’s real issue is budget, then this will flush out the issue. You will save yourself from slaving away on a proposal for nothing.

And in Japan, you usually won’t get a yes or no on the spot, even if you talk about pricing. The person in front of you often has to build internal consensus with other people who are not in the room (unseen decision makers sitting behind the wall).

However, you can still gain some intelligence. When you bring up pricing, watch the buyer’s body language closely. It can give you clues as to whether you will be a serious contender, or whether they will quietly reject you later.

In Japan, buyers will often ask for proposals for one of two reasons. One reason is that they need something written down so they can show colleagues as they build consensus.

But a second reason is that they may prefer to reject you when you are not physically present. It is less stressful, less embarrassing, and it allows them to avoid an uncomfortable face-to-face rejection.

Victor Antonio mentioned a tactic that can work in the U.S.: You explain how long it takes to write a proposal, which encourages the buyer to give a clear answer. But in Japan, this guilt tactic doesn’t work as well, because people often avoid direct confrontation.

Rather than saying “no,” the buyer may default to “interested but not sure,” regardless of the truth.

This is where the Japanese concepts of tatemae and honne matter.

Tatemae is the public truth, and honne is the real truth. In Japan, tatemae is not deception in the Western sense—it is a basic tool of polite society. Westerners can feel they were lied to, but most cultures have their own versions of “little white lies” used to avoid conflict and protect feelings.

Because tatemae exists, you need to listen for what is not said. You also need to design your sales process so you can clarify intent without forcing the buyer into a direct refusal.

Now, let’s say you do decide to create a proposal.

The biggest mistake you can make is emailing it.

When a proposal arrives by email, it arrives alone and undefended. The buyer can misunderstand what you mean, and no one is there to correct it. And it doesn’t matter whose fault that misunderstanding is—the result is that your value can disappear before you ever get to explain it.

And buyers often go straight to the numbers first. The big cost can taint their view of the value explanation you worked so hard to write at the front.

So whenever possible, present your proposal in person. Walk them through the value first. Check that you have correctly understood what they need. Answer questions and clarify misunderstandings as you go.

Then, by the time they see the price, it is wrapped in context—outcomes, fit, and shared understanding of the problem.

This way, the number lands after the meaning.

About the Author

Dr. Greg Story (Ph.D. in Japanese Decision-Making) serves as President of Dale Carnegie Tokyo Training and Adjunct Professor at Griffith University. He has won the Dale Carnegie “One Carnegie Award” twice (2018, 2021) and received the Griffith University Business School Outstanding Alumnus Award (2012). As a Dale Carnegie Master Trainer, he delivers global programs across leadership, communication, sales, and presentation skills, including Leadership Training for Results.

He has authored several books, including three best-sellers—Japan Business Mastery, Japan Sales Mastery, and Japan Presentations Mastery—along with Japan Leadership Mastery and How to Stop Wasting Money on Training. Japanese translations include Za Eigyō (ザ営業), Purezen no Tatsujin (プレゼンの達人), Torēningu de Okane o Muda ni Suru no wa Yamemashō (トレーニングでお金を無駄にするのはやめましょう), and Gendaiban “Hito o Ugokasu” Rīdā (現代版「人を動かす」リーダー).

Greg publishes daily blogs on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter on leadership, communication, and Japanese business culture. He also hosts six weekly podcasts, including The Leadership Japan Series, The Sales Japan Series, The Presentations Japan Series, Japan Business Mastery, and Japan’s Top Business Interviews. On YouTube, he produces three weekly shows—The Cutting Edge Japan Business Show, Japan Business Mastery, and Japan’s Top Business Interviews—that executives use as ongoing resources for succeeding in Japan.